Rio called some time back. He was apologetic but somehow I felt that he was not that sincere about it. I am still very upset but there's hardly anything that I can do. I asked him if we can meet on May Day. He declined tactfully. I wonder what's going on! The whole thing is so ridiculously frustrating, I feel like laughing!

My instincts are telling me something new has happened in Rio's life. Is it another woman? Though I'm scared to admit that, I've been getting these signals for a couple of days now. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. But whenever I say this to myself, the question simultaneously comes: am I really reading too much into it or am I side-tracking a glaring fact? The reason for this is that I cannot bear to lose the gamble of love before I had a chance to throw the dice. I should not have hesitated in telling him my feelings. Friends, if you are in love, say it. If you cannot do it face to face, click on this card and let the person know you care. Meanwhile, I'll keep you posted. Stay tuned...




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Have you read T.S.Eliot’s famous poem ‘The Hollowmen’? The quote that is haunting me the moment I begin to write this post is: “This is the way the world ends / Not with a bang but a whimper.”

That is exactly what happened to me on Kiss Day! Rio got caught up in some work and I had to spend the day cooped up in office, He didn’t even call the entire day. I’m really upset and full of desires that usually result in manslaughter. I didn’t call him up either. It was his plan to meet; it was he who canceled it after arousing a thousand expectations in my mind.

Where did he go? He has never done anything like this. Andrea and John painted the town red, partying. That made me extremely jealous, though I was equally happy for them. But I could not understand Rio’s sudden change of plans. Rio has not made any romantic commitments to me yet, but friends, if you are in a relationship with someone, keep your word. It really hurts when you love someone and that person relegates you into an insignificant activity that needs to be addressed only in leisure. So friends, if you are away from your sweetheart and could not meet up due to one reason or the other, click on this card and say that you care.



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Hi friends! How was your weekend? Mine was very exciting in a strange way. Andrea and John were out together and I had the place to myself. I could not meet Rio because he had some work and had to go out of town. He promised to meet me today. When he said that, I took it casually. After I put the phone down I realized that it would be Kiss Day then! Since that moment, my heart is fluttering like a scroll of paper under a fan. I talked about a turning point in my last post. Kiss Day 2008 could be mine!

Since I started feeling something special for Rio, I wanted an opportunity to tell him what I feel for him. Running parallel to this was the question of denial from his end and the adverse effect it might have on our friendship. But now I have decided to address the issue directly and give him some sign, if not blurt out the whole thing. What better opportunity than Kiss Day to do that? I’m sleepless since I took that call. With Kiss Day here, excitement in my gut has reached a crescendo! Wish me luck, friends! Pray for me and stay with me… I’m sure you’d like to know what happens as much as I do!

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Every moment has the power to change your life forever. Life, like a line, is a conglomeration of these moments. Though life is made of moments, there are some life-defining moments which prove to be turning points or change the course of your life forever. I am talking about it because I have just realized that my life has been touched and turned on its head forever: by Rio.

We were at the Imax Dome to catch a movie. We didn’t decide what we’d watch. Ultimately we watched nothing and spent the time chatting. Rio wanted to buy something for my pup Scarlett. The shop was round the corner at the mall. He asked me to wait and before leaving, said, “Don’t go away!” Very simply said, very casually put. But the only thing that hit me was – will I be able to go away? From him, from his life?

In that one moment I knew I was in love with this man. With that feeling came all sorts of thoughts: scary, ecstatic, beautiful, forbidden. But I’m a true Sagittarian, optimism is in my blood. I’m undecided about telling him about my feelings. But again, my Sagittarian tongue can spell out I Love You any time, to his and maybe my, surprise. Stay tuned; I think its going to be interesting!!





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A few months back, Andrea and John had a bad fight over an issue that seemed trivial, but gained mammoth proportions after a certain period of time. John got a little possessive over a colleague of Andrea. John thought the guy (for the life of me I cant remember the name) was being too cozy with her. Though she tried her best to convince him that his doubts were baseless, John didn’t see reason. Ultimately Andrea had to give him a lot of quality time and made him understand things. Only then did things fall into place and love was back with a bang!

I’m talking about this now because the other day I was reading letters written to a magazine’s ‘agony aunt’ column. All sorts of people have spitted out their mistrust and venom against their partners. The theme of all the letters seemed the same. Lack of trust: in the partner, in the relationship. Wonder where we are headed!

Phillip told me that trust is like the mirror. It may shine but on the other side it’s always black. People may show they trust, but if you dare to explore a little, you find that it was just a facade. Underneath lie the dark labyrinth of mistrust and insecurity. Trust in a romantic relation is even harder, because you love the person so much that you attach your existence with him or her. Then you feel insecure and want to cling on to the person with dear life. I got to go now…More on this later…





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Hi friends! After posting my last blog, I felt a sense of numbness for some time. What is this that I’m writing? Do I really think of Rio in a way that is something more than a friend? After putting my thoughts down, I have become more conscious about that part of my mind which has remained dormant until now. The liking, the feel-good aspect associated with Rio has suddenly come to the fore. When I met him again over the weekend, well, I hate to admit it, but I was feeling a little awkward to look him in the eye. I felt that he could read everything in my eyes and that was something I did not want.
I’ve no clue what he feels for me. If he finds out I’m looking at him differently, he may feel cramped. That would definitely have an adverse effect on our friendship. I’m not willing to let that happen. This is why it becomes extremely critical to handle when you want to elevate your friendship to love. If it happens, lucky you. If it doesn’t, say bye to your friendship as well. To add to it, I’m also confused about my feelings for him. What a soup I’ve landed myself in… Anyway, bye for now…I’ll get back as soon as I can. Do stay with me…


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I went out with Rio last night. I was really stressed out due to the extra work that Tax Day brought for us. The accounting firm that I work for has been running everyone ragged submitting returns for all our last minute clients. Though I’m only part-time there, I had to stay back longer and help put things in place. Since I love numbers, it was not much of a problem though. However, the stress got to me.

Rio is a great stress buster. I had a good, quiet time with him. I was too stressed to hang out partying all night , so I asked him to just take me to a quiet restaurant and listen to some soft music. The ambience was great and love was in the air. It is very strange really. I never think of Rio as my partner, but I feel a strange bond with him. Maybe I’m not ready to admit the messages my heart is giving me. Anyway, I believe that if love is going to happen, it will. I don’t want to get even more stressed out! Anyway I don’t know how Rio feels about me, so ultimately I may end up looking like a fool! With Kiss Day around the corner, you never know what will happen! I’ll keep you posted, friends! Stay tuned…


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Yesterday when I was at Phillip’s place, he was in a very jovial mood. It was one of those days when he’s not in a mood to teach us the guitar. He was reminiscing about the good old days when love did not have so many profanities attached to it. He was talking how scandals, flings, affairs and everything in between are being passed off as ‘love’. He is not averse to the idea of falling in love, rather he is all for it. He just wants people to be more honest about their feelings.

I was thinking about what he said on my way back to the apartment. The apartment was empty. Andrea, my roommate, must have gone out with her boyfriend. That reminded me of Phillip’s words again. Are they really in love or are they just checking out their compatibility quotient? It is a very critical question to answer honestly. Sometimes we do not know what we are feeling. The play of the sub-conscious strata of the mind is very peculiar. You may be friends with a person and not realize how much you are in love with them. When the person pops the question, or goes away after expecting you to do the same, a crunch in the stomach hits you and you realize what they really meant to you. Then it may be too late to say "I Love You". Better not wait for that to happen. If both of you feel the same way, the upcoming Kiss Day offers ample opportunities to get along together. What better way to declare your love when you can do it with a kiss on Kiss Day?

I believe that if you are in love, you must celebrate that feeling instead of being bogged down by the possibilities of having that person in your life. Your feelings are yours; you cannot thrust them down someone’s throat or compel them in any way. If it is going to happen, it will, without you having to raise a finger. However, for the unfortunate souls who are longing for that special connection, no matter how much you make an effort, it will be meaningless gestures.



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